...I've had it numerous times over the past few years. It started about five years ago. Actually, about the same time that I stumbled onto the picture I mentioned in my last post.
I remember vividly the first time I had the dream. I woke up sobbing, it felt as if my heart were absolutely breaking, and I had this overwhelming feeling of complete, absolute despair. I immediately got up & went to write the dream down. But it didn't come out in journal form with me explaining the dream, it came out, rather, in first person account of exactly what happened in my dream...the sounds, sights, smells, everything I felt. The name mentioned came to me without me even having to think about it, it came right out of the end of my pen with no hesitation as I wrote.
I dreamed of you tonight.
You were reaching out to me from the tangled sheets of our bed at the window. The curtains stirred in the salty sea breeze, the scent of heather heavy in the air, and the waves caressed the rocky crags below, whispering to the moon above.
Your face, raised in relief beneath the silver kiss of the moon, shined like a beacon. Green eyes glowing, your lips moving but no words escape. Still, I hear you whispering, not from your lips, but your eyes. They tell me all I need to know. I’m captured, held prisoner by your gaze.
I dare not move from this place I am rooted to, for I fear you shall disappear with the sea mist if move but an inch, draw but one breath to move toward you. The sheepskin rug beneath my feet is soft, my toes curl into the wool & I’m taken with the memory of us lying on this very rug together. The night that Patrick was conceived. The thought stings my eyes with fiery tears, clogging my throat with an unbearable ache.
And then I always wake up, sobbing, my heart pounding in my chest & feeling as if it's absolutely breaking in two.